I replied with a smile , We still have to grow up , don't we ?
With the moral values that I once hold on , I will not be able to survive.
Because in this cold world , no one can actually feel my vibe.
Living on this earth , everything is a lesson.
I live , I learn , I love , I let go.
Waking up one day , and I suddenly decided to forgive everything.
For the sake of myself , and for the sake of a better life.
Though it hurts when I hear people's insults.
My friend asked me : Are you really happy inside ? I'm being serious.
I answered : yea of course I am. Forgiving people's mistakes and bad will definitely make me happy.
Yes. Letting go of these shits is good , but it hurts.
How I wish I could live every single day being the real me , without considering anyone else.
Why the fuck should I care for your feelings when you don't do the same ?
I'm not born to please you and see your shit face.
You say you wanna slap me in my face , and so do I.
But , my conscience doesn't allow me to do so.
Growing up doesn't mean that I can't do things that I love.
We all grow up to become a better person , aren't we ?
So , why should you grab hold of the hate towards me ?
I've apologized , I've made everything clear , and I owe you nothing.
I know I can't control what comes out from your mouth.
But please , if you wanna talk bad about me , please don't let me hear that.
I can no longer tolerate this pain anymore.
And can you please mind your words ?
Isn't that too much to address me as 不要脸 just because I wore a crop tee ?
LOL what else can I say ?
People are blinded by hatred and contempt.
There's a song that matches my feelings. Rap Monster's "Do You"
DO YOU DO YOU DO YOU DO THE FUCK YOU WANT.
Since everything I do seem wrong in your eyes , then just don't fucking look at me.
I am not afraid of you , I just want myself to live a happier life without seeing your face that's full of hatred.
Current goal : learn not to care how other people judge me.
Neither good nor bad , I shouldn't have cared.
Hope that my self-reflection leads me to the right path.
Every single day I'm learning to be a better person.
Call me annoying , but I really wish I can turn myself into someone who can fit well in this society.
Because I am pretty sure that the REAL me can't survive in this cold world.
Till the day I die , I guess I will be thankful to the current me.
Figuring what's lacking in myself is really important.
I don't know when I developed this habit , but I tend to do a self-reflection at least once a week.
Every single blog post in this blog is my journal of reflection.
Thank You , Tang Hui Chin.
PS :
A secret had been kept in my heart since 8/3/2014.
I'm waiting for that day to come by.
And I will be embracing the fact that sounds a little bit ridiculous.
You know , waiting for an answer which has been known is torturing.
Perhaps I'm not mature enough to handle this.
Perhaps this is not the right time.
But sometimes I question myself , why me ?
Or should I be proud because out of 70 billion people in this world , I am being chosen by her ?
LOL who knows ?
Let's just live everyday to the fullest and develop myself to be a better person while waiting for her to come to me.
Or maybe that day will never come ?
I know I sound weird.
I just wanna keep track of these words.
No comments:
Post a Comment